Friday, May 27, 2011

At ease soldier! Juice will make the jewels shrivel!

In a sick way, I get deep underlying satisfaction in seeing people who fulfill stereotypes borderline perfectly.  A horrifying statement?  Maybe.  Honest?  Most definitely.  (If you are horrified, you would be better off clicking the “X” on the upper corner of this window before reading any further.)

Knowing my sick obsession with stereotypes, it will probably come as no shock to you that I loved every second of the Mr. Bhutan National Championship Body Building Competition.  I haven’t figured out if it was the fact that I may have been able to compete in the lightweight competition or the fact that I could finally assess, first hand, the relationship of steroids, ethnicity, and size through the tiny Speedos.  Regardless, I found it perfect.

Being in a new country, I am always trying to learn new things.  At Mr. Bhutan, I learned a new set of vocabulary that I will be able to apply to my future dating life.  First and foremost, every contestant is not referred to by their name, but instead they wear numbers and are called “Type 6”, “Type 9”, etc.  Next, at the beginning of the round, the announcer calls out “Mandatory Poses #1”, followed by “Relax”.  “Mandatory Pose #2”.  “Relax”.  Lastly, the contestants wear shiny bronze oil that may or may not cause lead poisoning.  I’m totally into it!

The choice of music was… hilarious!  Think Channel 933 with a Bollywoodtwist.  I guess the only other thing left to point out is that the winners of each round were the competitors who had the biggest smiles while they were flexing hard enough to possibly shit themselves.  Gotta love the priorities here.  Now that is GNH baby!

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