Friday, May 27, 2011

An Ode To a Great Female: How The Bitch Got Her Name

I have spoken a lot about the stray dog on our campus.  She is occasionally colored blue and she ever so kindly eats the vegetables out of the lunches of those who don’t want to receive a scolding when they return home.  (And to think, pure breds in the states consider themselves too good for fruits and vegetables.)  This dog is the same dog that had puppies over winter break and nursed them just long to have them stolen by a group of high school boys.

This post is an ode to the bitch herself.  She is a medium sized sandy brown mutt.  Sounds cute right?  The fur itself is every different color you can imagine, blended together to create the color of mud.  The hair is mangy at best, and it bunches in areas where children have dropped sticky substances and those substances have collected enough dust to create masses of gunk.  Dispersed between these masses, you can see patches of black, dry, flaky skin, where her hair is falling out.

Her head, which appears too small for her body, hangs below her shoulders as she slowly meanders around campus.  When she hears the school bell ring, a look of, “Oh shit, not this again,” smears itself across her face.  She turns to run from the miniature people coming to pet her, but bless her soul, she just doesn’t have the energy or the heart.

The second she regained her trot again after the puppy-napping incident, the poor bitch was in heat.  There she was, barking and nipping at hoards of dogs from around the neighborhood who had come to “woo” her.  (As an onlooker, non-consensual dog sex is slightly disturbing.)

Her eyes tell a tale in themselves, and her personality is that of a hero who eventually writes a "rags to riches" autobiography.

Now the bitch can be seen basking in the sun, completely unable to escape the dirty little fingers coming forth to mush her face into contorted positions and give her tattoos.  Why?  She is knocked up again!

It is no wonder the children call this beautiful soul “Cupcake”.

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